March 20th

So last night DH took some pictures of me feeding our 6 month old.  I felt really disgusted with my body and how I looked.  Like to the point I have been super upset since yesterday.  I know I shouldn't hate myself this way but gah sometimes it feels like I haven't made any progress and when the scale shows none for a month you start to really wonder if it's working.  Or you pick apart your workout, eating, or anything else you can blame.  I find I also start beating myself up about everything even none wieght related things.  We as women put to much on our appearance and especially our weight.  I don't know why we do this but we do.  I wish I didn't feel this way.  I know that I am doing good but I guess I feel like I could be doing better.
I did day 2 of the Ripped in 30 video.  Man my legs were hurting before I started and I didn't give them any mercy last night.  Today I am not feeling to bad but I haven't worked out yet.  I am home with one sick 5yo and the baby so I will work out tonight after everyone is in bed or at least settled for the night.  Tomorrow I am not working either since our boy is running a fever of 102 as of right now.  I will try to do my video either in the morning or early afternoon so I can go for a ride tomorrow night.  It should be a 20 mile ride which would take about 2 hours give or take.  I can leave from the house.  It will be a great ride.  So now to focus more and really take food more seriously as I believe that is where I am making most of my mistakes.  I like to eat out.  I have to remind myself its not worth it.

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